i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize