the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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