There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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