Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
