Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
