I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
