I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
