haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
