she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
