I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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