i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
