So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
