Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
