Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
