That's intense
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
