its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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