six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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