yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
