i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
