I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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