Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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