I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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