Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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