This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
