i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
