With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
