Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
