id be glad to
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize