if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
