some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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