Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
