Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
