My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
