Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
