Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
