Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
