so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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