check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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