i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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