32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize