So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
