i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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