trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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