Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize