The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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