After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
