How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think people are normalizing furries
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
