That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize