he wants to bone in the snuggie
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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