the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
