im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize