Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
