im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
