It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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