Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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