So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize