i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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