According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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