We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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