Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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