she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize