I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize