They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
