I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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