"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
