so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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