The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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