I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
